The job of wedding planners may seem to be a series of funny situations that are usually highlighted in movies. But in real life, things are way more complicated. As it turns out, there are even special courses for wedding planners where they learn the basics of wedding psychology. It’s no wonder that the combination of learning and professional experience has allowed organizers to very accurately predict the duration of certain marriages.
Bright Side has found out which criteria wedding organizers use to understand when marriages won’t last long and compared them with the conclusions of family psychologists. Now, you have a chance to see how close the professional opinions of wedding planners are to reality.
1. The bride and groom use humiliating names to address each other.
During the process of preparing for the event, wedding planners often notice how future spouses address each other. Nicknames are not always a sign of a long and happy marriage. However, humiliating and offensive names that partners use even in the presence of other people are often a sign that the marriage won’t last long. When insults are justified with, “I said it with love,” the predictions for the future marriage are not positive.
- Some studies have proven that cute nicknames can have a positive effect on the level of your relationship satisfaction. But insults, even used as a joke, signal that one partner doesn’t respect the other. This will not disappear after the couple is married and might turn into aggression and contempt.
2. One of the partners makes organizational decisions in secret from the other.
Sometimes, all the details are discussed but one of the future spouses tries to make their own changes behind the other partner’s back, often asking the organizer not to say anything. And it’s okay when you are asked to keep a secret in order to surprise someone (for example, when a groom wants to sing a song he composed during the ceremony). But sometimes, one of the partners asks about something that the other partner will definitely not enjoy (for example, not sending invitations to some of the guests). Sneaky things like this that are hidden from one partner may lead to a quick end to the marriage.
- Psychologists say that having secrets is normal. But when these secrets violate the other person’s rights and interests, and when it’s about lying, this leads to a loss of trust between the partners. And this is definitely not healthy for any relationship.
3. One of the partners doesn’t take part in the planning of the wedding.
Wedding planners say that men are less interested in details than women. They often don’t care about the color of the chairs or the flavor of the wedding cake. But grooms often accompany their future wives to the discussions about these things to provide support. And when some partners don’t take part in preparing for the event, it looks and feels quite strange. According to organizers, sometimes they meet the grooms, or brides, for the first time during the ceremony. These marriages don’t usually last long.
- Psychologists claim that marriage is always a 2-person job. If the entire responsibility is always on the shoulders of only one person, the result is obvious: it’s impossible for one person to make 2 people happy.
4. Bride and groom don’t want to meet each other half way.
According to wedding organizers, there are situations where brides and grooms argue when choosing the music for their first dance. Even little details can be the reason for an argument and when things are not discussed by partners they can become the reason for a clash that could include tears, insults, and broken plates. You may even be able to feel the tension at the ceremony itself. For example, when the music that was the reason for the conflict comes on, you might notice the partners roll their eyes or even refuse to dance. This inability to meet each other halfway in a marriage can be really destructive.
- According to psychologists, compromise is an important aspect of a stable marriage. So you have to learn to consider your partner’s interests before getting married.
5. New relatives say negative things about the bride’s or groom’s choice in public.
It sometimes happens that mothers-in-law tell everyone that they wish their child could have found someone better. But this is only half of the problem. Newlyweds are not supposed to be liked by everyone and that’s totally okay. But a really alarming sign is when one partner doesn’t want or can’t defend the other one. Even worse, some people even support their relatives — this is absolutely ugly.
- Experts recommend talking to the potential troublemakers in advance in order to reduce the risk of these situations happening at the ceremony.
6. Newlyweds drink too much alcohol.
Sometimes, it seems like drinking a glass of wine to relax before the ceremony is okay, but this often leads to a full-scale alcohol party with no one counting how many drinks they’ve had. Parents and friends of the newlyweds have a tendency to do this. But, sometimes even the newlyweds themselves drink too much before or during the wedding ceremony. Wedding planners think that these situations shouldn’t be considered accidental. This is a reason to doubt the perspective of your future life together.
- Psychologists recommend not forgetting about the most important thing: people choose their future partners themselves. So, before the marriage, you should learn as much as possible about each other in order to avoid unpleasant surprises. If you enter into the relationship hoping things will change, we have news for you, things usually don’t change.
7. Bride and groom get into debt while planning their wedding ceremony.
Newlyweds often incur huge amounts of debt in order to organize their wedding ceremony. This can be a real problem for a young family. You should be mindful of what you can afford and what you can’t. Don’t get into debt unless you can pay the money back without damaging the future of your family. Otherwise, this burden will be on your shoulders for a long time, and instead of enjoying a honeymoon together and building a life, you will constantly argue about money, question your relationship, and regret the wasted money. These marriages often end before the money is even paid back.
- Financial issues often become big problems in families. This is why you should never underestimate their importance in every stage of your relationship.
Have you ever tried to guess how long a certain marriage will last? Tell us in the comment section below!